my thoughtless

dot com.

2005-08-12T06:26:50Z

well, everythings going great.
im trying to book some places around town before i leave for nashville
and knoxville, also got a place in atlanta in the works. the demo will
be ready saturday, cant wait for you guys to hear that, im really
proud with how it turned out. the website is up, http://www.aaronalexanderonline.com/
and ive still got my job at target, woo woo for me.

so tonight im going to play video games and be bored... now that schools back
in all my friends are asleep...

night,
aaron.

on my way home

2005-08-06T18:07:59Z

Omg, the freaking trip was amazing. I absolutely loved every second of it.I got to play a show at a place called the new city cafe in knoxville. I will have pictures of it on my website when it is up. I went to visit the worlds tallest treehouse, 9 stories? Amazing. I also went white water rafting... But that's something else to discuss completely. I'll be driving this drive again in two months to start my mini tour. I'm all worked up now. Its good to be near home again however. Love most of my readers.wooo

headed for smoky's

2005-07-31T18:50:13Z

Wow, my friend got a freakin' blackberry cell phone. And so yea I can update my livejournal from the smoky's. I'm still on the way, and it's fairly boring but we've been listening to music n such. Meagan's all curled up in a blanket and she's so cute. Right now it is raining and its obvious the camping trip will be loads of fun. Wow, just wow.

(Aaron)

...gone

2005-07-31T00:41:01Z

im heading out to the smoky mountaiiinnnnnsss tomorrow morning fer a campin'
trip. its gonna rawk, i hope i get mauled by a bear.

talked to the record guy again today, found out hes the guy that recorded
for the local rap groooup the 3 6 mafia. i shot some pool with him for
about 30 minutes and checked out the studio, which is a fucking amazing
studio, if i can sneak a digi in there ill snap a few pictures to show off.
but yea, because im not 18 my parents have to fucking be signed into the
contract which fucking blows, but when i turn 18 im gonna get something
straightened out to where they arent involved hopefully.

but yea, we started booking that mini tour in 2 months, ill post some shows
when i get back, prolly start playing some in about a month or so.

thanks for caring enough to read, see everyone in 8 days.

finally

2005-07-26T15:17:06Z

well guys, i finally did it, and it was totally on accident.
i made a new demo recently (like 4 days ago). and it had all
new stuff on it, ive never shown any of it to anyone. it
blows anything else ive ever done out of the water. somehow
my parents got a hold of the demo and started sending it to poeple,
it got back to three different record companies, two of which wanted
to record me. i signed with this record label owned by a brian pittman,
they are signing me to a demo contract. that means that they record a
three track demo and based on the sale of that to whomever they will
decide whether or not to make an album or not. after the demo is recorded
ill be starting a mini tour in about a month, ill be going to nashville, ky,
and alabama.
they are deciding between two of the songs to send to locals only (93x).
its acoustic music and it doesnt sound poppy to me, so i really dont
know how thatll go over, but whatever, its what ive been wanting to do
for forever.

when the demo is finished ill be selling it for five bucks a cd and there
will be a few other places you can buy it from, ill post more about it later.
thanks for your guys support in what ive done so far,
aaron.

:)

2005-07-21T03:51:42Z

fuck.

confusing!!!!!!!

2005-07-17T14:36:01Z

my life lately is so confusing, i dont really know which way i want
to go anymore. and i really don't know where i am right now.

theres not too much i really want to say about it, im just confused.

why cant life decisions be simple? why cant life be easy?...

i just want to be happy, and i want everyone around me to be.

how... dramatic,
aaron.

another dream?

2005-07-13T16:56:04Z

okay these dreams are just getting weiiiiird.

so, im at a dock with meagan right? romantic scene, sunset.. romantic.
all of a sudden we are trying to get to this ballgame (baseball). so we
hitch a ride from an old friend LEON. but some how i wind up trying to
rescue meagan, but im a girl now. anyway, so this guy has kidnapped her.
i wind up having to fight him bare hands, and he's really fucking good
at fighting. and at the end of the fight hes trying to talk, doing one of
those "im about to kill you any last words?" speeches. i pull out a pocket
knife and say: "what would this do?" as i push it deep into his chest and
slide the knife across. he says "i'd probably die" as he collapses to the
floor.

right before i wake up i realize ive killed two of my old friends.
i cant really say the names, but they were extremely fucking close to me and
you would know who they were.

i know absolutely nothing about interpreting dreams, but i'd have to say this
one would be totally fucked up... i actually woke up crying.

dirty hand?

2005-07-13T03:11:53Z

i tried to buy a digital camera today guys.

i get out to my car to test it out, and it it says
"hello" in scrolling marquee across the screen.
...then... suddenly!!! without warning, it says

"OFF!!!"

of course i thought it just glitched out, so i turned it
back on.
"hello" --------->>>>>

"OFF!!!"

it was clearly malfunctioning.
i took it back inside hoping to exchange it for a new,
but nooooooo... they were sold out of the camera i wanted.
so i got my money back.

fuck.

eeep

2005-07-12T17:08:17Z

well soooo, lets see... this live journal thing got on my nerves before
but i guess i dont mind it, yet again.. i mean hell look how far back my
posts go.

everything is getting so much better here recently

loves:
meaganhendricks
josh.
jakecasey
danny.

likes:
tiffanynorman
alexscadroli
jeremy.(bigjerm)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee......... ha hah

BFFXCORE.

i love you

2005-07-08T15:07:45Z

last night i had the weirdest fucking dream.

i was in the movie terminator somehow and i was
that guy that got sent to the past to fuck
dudes mom... the confusing and awkward part of
the whole thing was. that was my mission
breifing and everything. heres a picture, i need
you to fuck my mom.

i woke up right about the time titties started
flapping... weird shit.

word.

mythoughtless @ 2005-06-29T01:29:00

2005-06-28T06:30:09Z

No matter how much I say that I've learned life's lessons, the only way to
ever really know life's lessons is when it smacks you right in the face
(life smacks you in the face) Rubberband stretched to the limit, but still
I cannot help but pull it just a little bit more. Once again my whole world
crumbles, walls cave in, i fall backwards. Everything I know taken out at
the knee.

Hands stuffed deep into my mouth to keep from choking on the
words that show how much i know about knowing nothing!!!

...at all(I dont know anything at all) I know that these days will
have an end just like i know that I'll be back again. This place is
awful, but its familiar.

FUCK YEA!!!

work....

2005-06-27T04:46:45Z

wow, welll... so a lot has been happening lately, im not really
going into much detail but to those of you who know, well you
know, and thats all there is to know so there.

i work a lot now, it seems its been either work or meagan lately..
pretty boring sounding? yep, oh well, i love it...

i work 40/hr weeks now, and ive been doing a lotta backroom stuff,
ive been pulled from carts FINALLY!!! ive been reckognized...
i was invited to go on a week vacation for target corp so help organize
a new store, but our store bailed out on it, so i didnt get to go unfortunately...

me and meagan pulled through the hardest part of our relationship better
than ever, and truly have proven that we can make it through high school
i fucking love that bitch shes amazing... and so am i.. so there.

~ aaron.

today...

2005-06-04T06:55:58Z

wow, today was interesting....
im really getting back into my reading, of the bible n' such.
today was alex's birthday and i didn't use any drugs at all, which
is an amazing accomplishment for me here lately. but it's something
different really. im trying to let god use my life more, i want
to do something with my life more meaningful than simply going
out and having fun. i'm not saying it's not about me, everything
is about me. thats human nature to please yourself, but i don't
feel like it should just be about myself anymore, i want to
do things for other people.

i met with parker today and started reading through romans again,
he's really going to help me get through this shit im working with
and he also introduced me to a book "don't waste your life" by John
Piper. so far it's pretty intense. basically the message of the book
is, that we've been given so much, and really helps you question what
you are going to do with it. i don't know, i just want to figure
things out... everyone does.

im tired, been up since 7:30, and now it's 2 am. almost 24 hours in 5.

good NIGHT.

~ aaron.

im back

2005-06-01T06:04:45Z

hey guys, its been a long time... i decided to come back to this
little thing... i probably won't write in it for long considering
i have short phases where i want people around, then i dont.

ive been working my ass off the past 3 weeks at target, 28 hours +
a week, i got a fucking mohawk, which is what ive been wanting for
fucking years, i am stoked about how it came out, i got to see fucking
TERROR on the 28th, and that show rocked my sandals.

i rededicated my life to christ last weekend, and im really going to
try and pull through some shit in my life.

ive been reading, a lot since summer started. i don't even use the
internet as a way of communication, hardly. i look up interesting new
articles and print them out. i've been forum hopping as well.

i'm trying to get back into computers, making it my hobby again. i've
been working with Basic, and C++. shooting to learn CSS.

as far as friends go... well, i'm still really sketchy on who i want
around. I keep running from people, i just can't decide who is right
for me, i always think i deserve better. Meagan is the only person
that is in it for keeps, she isn't going anywhere. people have too
many character flaws when i look at them, they just make me mad.
I want someone that wants me for who i am, whether or not i mess up,
it's amazing the number of relationships you can fuck up with one
mistake, the way i look at it is, if you mess up i can remember all
the good qualities you have. everyone makes mistakes. I am truly
one of the most giving people i know, i mean c'mon, in one night,
i gave 60 bucks to that was then to fix a tail light someone at the
show busted out, gave 10 bucks to ed to get in, gave ed 5 bucks for water
when he got drained, and paid a bill at CK's to save nick from getting
busted from the cops for stealing the shit he ate. (which i regret doing).

i've been happy though, i don't really listen to people anymore, and that
seems to help with the white noise.

:)

2005-03-23T03:25:47Z

FOR THE RECORD: IM IN A FUCKING GREAT MOOD!

no one reply to this

2005-03-22T00:04:30Z

DO NOT REPLY TO THIS POST!!!

Wanna disco? Wanna see me disco?

2005-03-21T23:53:53Z

001. name/age/location: aaron/17/memphis fucking tennessee
002. sexual orientation: BISEXUAL!!
003. 5+ bands: converge, comeback kid, that was then, bane, full blown chaos, 100 demons
004. 5+ movies: slc punk, donnie darko, invasion of the body snatchers, pulp fiction, kill bill
005. 5+ things you like: music, computers, reading, writing, VIDEOOOO GAAAMES
006. 5+ things you dislike: television, fighting over pointless shit, bush, hard drugs, people without heart
007. favorite lyric: "Everytime you walk away, Everytime I'll be the same, That's a choice to respect, That's a
choice I accept." - comeback kid
008. how did you hear about this community: my space
009. your opinion on the mods:
radical_photo: makes me wanna dance
pony_parade: wanna get to know em a lil better
liaisons___: like the way they dance
010. why should we accept you?: because, i am awesome of course, that.. and i can dance.
011. name something crazy or unique about yourself: well duh, i can fucking dance.
012. 4(+) CLEAR FACE pictures:

013. promote in your userinfo and another livejournal show the link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/drkreflection/58893.html?view=26893#t26893
014. any last words: well if they are my last then... FUCK YOU GUYS! but i love you all!

spring break

2005-03-21T02:15:00Z

wow, thats all i have to fucking say...

i spent the whole damned spring break with some of the coolest people.
meagan (of course, because shes so fucking great), nick, sean, ed, tiffany,
shayla, (believe it or not) caleb, alex, josh, BIG GERM!!!! (jeremy), allie,
justin, dan, and many others (tell me if i forgot you).

i think this whole damned break has been the best fucking break of my life.
i got back into the whole live journal, myspace thing. i had a little fun with
my first post on my live journal ("YOU MEAN THAT WASNT TRUE?!") fuck off.

i got the new comeback kid cd, which pwns and i listened to the thing all week.
i also got the akasha cd (thanks to sean) and they are now one of my favorite bands.

saturday night i went to go see that was then, and bury the living. they were amazing,
i took meagan, nick, and caleb. it was nicks first real hardcore show, and it wasnt the
best thing ive ever seen but it was entertaining aside from the SPOM kids that just came
to sit around and talk the whole time. NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR MUSIC!!!

Bury the living was amazing for the second time to see them. Their singer looks like he could
fucking snap your neck with his index finger and thumb. he pointed two SPOM kids out and mocked
them because they were sitting down during one of the most brutal breakdowns of the whole fucking
show.

It was really freaking cool that they brought some speakers in there to talk to kids at the show,
and the message behind what they were saying really made me think about things you dont want to
think about in our country, or normally just dont.

We left after that was then, it was the only band i had originally come for.

There was the draw back of a cold that i have had all week and i think i may have actually made it
worse by not stopping to rest all week. lol, oh well. fuck you

sorry...

2005-03-18T06:52:26Z

sorry about the absence... i've had a lot of things on my mind.
i really need to get some things off of my chest.

i've been having problems with drugs, sex, and with the people in my life.

i tried heroin about a month ago, and i think i might be becoming dependent.
i can't stop. it's becoming easier for me to get, and more difficult to stop
myself from using it.
i also started using coke, but i was getting into that earlier than heroin.
i dont use it that often, but it still scares me. im scaring myself.

my parents caught me with pot again, and i don't know what they are going to do this
time. they are letting me continue to hang out with nick though because they think
hes safe.

i started cutting myself about a month ago as well. i got really fucking upset after
a fight with my parents and i really couldnt control it, it's becoming habit.

im considering suicide, this lifestyle is fucking killing me.

if you guys dont hear from me again for a while, you know why.
my parents are talking about lakeside, possibly boarding school.

please, dont try and fucking give me sympathy.

NO MORE LIVEJOURNAL!

2005-02-04T02:36:46Z

http://totakemyplace.cjb.net/

music... coffee and this table... which, i am, gay... i dont like you

2005-01-29T08:15:17Z

well, its been a day of decision... and im sure on music as playing
a large role in my lifestyle. Ive been with nick all night oddly
enough, writing music. and tuesday i have a short practice with the
new members of dont forget to breathe. ive been writing so much
lately, and without drain. when i get the chance i plan to post
my newer acoustic stuff.

anyway. it concerns me that i cant find another way to release my
feelings sometimes.. the only release ive found is my music. and if
it isnt well written it leaves me with more on my shoulders than before
ive started singing about the mess. im too tired to talk. but,
yea... this is how i feel tonight...

p.s. CK's Coffee Shop is the best place to sit, talk, write, and eat?
i've been there the past week almost every night sometimes sitting
for four hours at a time, because you just cant go there and leave
thirty minutes later. you have to forget the world around you and
pretend you are somewhere else... i think running people down, is
becoming something healthy for me btw. that was random... good night.

driving home

2005-01-27T21:15:42Z

today, on the ride home after school i was listening to encomium and
really just thinking again... i guess they can happen in the daytime...
i dont know what im going to do later, im going for the computers thing
after high school, but the more that i think about it the more i think
i might just be going for something im good at... the only real thing
ive been wanting to do lately is music. i guess the real thing that
pushes me in the direction of music, is that im not really good at it
yet. and i have this drive in the back of my head, that keeps me
entertained. i want to do something productive, but i also want
to do something im going to enjoy. oddly enough, as elementary as
this may be, ive been wanting to do something in gaming, okay... maybe
not gaming, but programming. it would be fun. but it wouldnt be productive...
i dont know what to do? maybe some words of advice... ? should
i pursue, the enjoyable lifestyle or one where i could actually do
something to help out in any specific area...

goodnight, sleep tight

2005-01-27T05:02:00Z

i cant sleep, its the thoughts i wish i could have during the day that come
to haunt me as i lay down to sleep every night. in the day, ill sit with
my notebook in hand wishing to god i could write something, and ill have a
blank page by nightfall... then ill lay down, drained of energy from a long
day, and the thoughts will begin to hit me, keeping me up all night. my eyes
will grow large, large enough to wear shutting them might hurt.. i realize
things, and fit puzzle pieces where they may fit, causing a collage of
what is now nothing. why is it that the simple questions can leave us without
sleep, you know? like, fucking, how deep could i actually go if i could fly
into the space, the sky. you know its infinite.. but you dont know that it is,
youve only been told that. where the hell am i supposed to find trust? i
dont trust people anymore. i just dont, im going to die alone anyway, the
hell with the bullshit of trusting anyone. im starting to get laughs out
of making people feel like shit, and at the same time im kicking people in the
face im still singing great lyrics like "always, ill be by your side." look
and now im the untrustworthy one speaking hypocrisy.

im going to go back to bed.

comeback kid...

2005-01-25T21:07:23Z

ive always known about comeback kid, and ive always been inspired whenever i sat
and listened to one particular song, but i just downloaded two of their cds and ive
only made it to the second song on the demo when i actually sat down to listen
because the songs are so amazing and so powerful. this has never really
happened to me but these songs leave me happy and with a sense of accomplishment
like the songs were talking about me, and how i should treat everyone around me,
like i should be apologetic... i think im changed... i dont know what to say.
i'll leave you with the lyrics from my current favorite song by them:

-

"Give And Take"

How far would you go to satisfy?
Everything that you long for
And you wanted so bad
It seemed to take over your world
Nothing in this life is ever free
You've heard a billion times
Still there's a gap haunting you
Questioning the air you breathe
Questioning the truth
To find substance
To find a truth
Something absolute in a stone cold world
I guess it's easier said than done
But there's a life that goes beyond
Now all I can do is share
What I have with you

Everytime you walk away
Everyime I'll be the same
Thats a choice to respect
That's a choice I accept

But I'll still be here
I'll always be here
I'll always...
- COMEBACK KID